Twenty

Today, I turn 20. *cries* I’m actually dreading for this day to come because 1) I’m no longer a teenager, and 2) I’m actually an adult now. Living for two decades have taught me things about life. So let me share those. And no, this won’t be another ’20 things I learned when I turned 20′ because I haven’t learned that much lessons.

1. Things won’t always turn out the way you pictured it to be.

I like to think about the future, for some reason. When I was in elementary, I pictured how my high school life would be. I also did the same for college. And both completely did not turn out the way I wanted them to; totally in the different direction than what was I going for. As my graduation comes close, I can’t help but imagine my “adult life”. I imagined me in a corporate job, then I’ll have my own apartment, and I’ll finally be able to financially support my family. You know, the usual stuff. But now that I have graduated, I couldn’t even get myself a job. It breaks my heart every time I get rejected because  I know that this is not how things should be. But you know what if me being rejected now means that I’ll be accepted one day then so be it.

2. Lower your expectations

There is nothing more heartbreaking than to be let down by someone whom you expected so much from. It’s sadder if it’s someone who you’re close with.

3. You can’t always get what you want

I’m an only girl and a daddy’s girl, and that means I get what I want. If I want a new barbie, I’ll get a new barbie. If they say no, I’ll throw a tantrum, I’ll cry, I’ll slam the door. I know how to piss off my parents just enough for them to give in to my wants. My mom told me that when I was a child, I would cry nonstop if I don’t get what I want. As a kid, yes, I do get what I want. But as I grow older, I find it hardly true anymore. People won’t just give what you asked for just because you asked for it. There are now factors to consider; things I didn’t think mattered  (i.e. money).

4. Fuck their judgments

As every normal teenager does, I cared about what others think of me. Maybe a bit too much than I thought. When I was in high school, I didn’t care that much. But I admit that was the time I got insecure. I was gaining too much weight, my acne won’t go away, my hair wouldn’t stay still. Much to say, I hated how I look. This went on until two years ago when I just thought, “fuck them!”. Yes, I am fat, who the fuck cares? Yes, I see acne on my face you don’t have to remind me. We live in a society where the concept of “perfect” is way too overrated and the concept of “just be yourself” is so underrated.

 

All these sound cliche, yes. But I learned them the hard way. Now that I’m two decades old, I will now try to care less and live more.

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